


Survival of the Fittest

by inner_tempest



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26430664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inner_tempest/pseuds/inner_tempest
Summary: “Toby.”Toby looked up at his mother.  “Mother?”“I know.”Toby let go of his fork, it clattered to his plate as his eyes widened.“You know…know what?” he tried to catch himself, make it as if he really had no clue.  But there was no denying Lady Hamilton’s words.  She knew.She knew.
Relationships: Toby Hamilton/Adil Joshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Survival of the Fittest

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Toby/Adil anniversary week fic!
> 
> I've been working on it forever. If there are continuity errors, it's because it's been slowly but surely pieced together over the past couple months. But I finally finished it. For anniversary week.
> 
> As always, they're not mine. But it's fun to play with them.

The first few months after Adil’s suicide attempt, Toby and Adil were mostly at odds. They spent the majority of their time fighting, trying to figure out what had been _right_ and what had gone _wrong_. Neither could forgive the other for what had been done, what had been said. And neither had been able to say _I love you_ after the fateful night the Halcyon had been bombed and Adil had almost died.

The turning point came nearly four months after that night. Lady Hamilton had insisted dinner with her younger son, claiming the need to talk about something important. Toby had no idea what could _possibly_ be that important, but he had acquiesced.

Toby had been at Adil’s flat that day. More arguing, of course. Toby had been begging Adil to get a new flat. He hated coming back to this one after everything that had happened there. Adil tried to explain he couldn’t _afford_ a new flat. If Toby couldn’t come back to this one, maybe he should just stop coming.

“Maybe we just need to accept that this relationship was based on _nothing_ and it’s time for it to end!” Toby had shouted before storming out of the apartment.

***

“Toby, you’re always so distant these days. I know we all faced some…trauma, but-”

“It’s nothing, mother,” Toby looked down at his plate.

After all of it, the man just wasn’t in the mood. He should have known better than to spend time with Adil before dinner with his mother. Spending time with Adil, something that used to be something wonderful, was just a sour experience these days. No matter how badly Toby wanted things to work out…and he assumed Adil felt that way as well. Maybe there really wasn’t anything left of their relationship.

“Toby?”

“It’s been a long day.”

“I need to speak with you.”

Toby looked up, trying to focus on the matter at hand. “Alright. Well, then…”

The two stared at each other for a moment. “Toby, darling…Mr. D’Abberville had said some things before…the last time we spoke.”

That whole day was a blur for Toby. That whole time between discovering Adil’s betrayal and the night of the bomb was, really. All that had come up was that Mr. D’Abberville and Lady Hamilton had had words, and he had been caught in the bombing. It had seemed like a relief at the time, Toby and Adil both thinking they were safe, but it wasn’t as simple as it had when Toby saved Adil.

Because in the end, Adil had even attempted suicide because of what Toby had said and done. But Adil had stolen information from Toby. If they really thought they could make it, wouldn’t he have gone to him for help? And Toby was only just getting back into a safe, trusted position at work.

What had they really had anyway? The two men were from two different worlds. Even if they were of the same social standing, homosexuality was a crime. They had loved each other, right? But apparently not enough.

“Look, mother,” Toby sighed, pushing his chicken around his plate with his fork. “I don’t know what Mr. D’Abberville might have said, but-”

Did it even matter at this point? Toby and Adil had all but given up by now. Toby would be married off to whatever woman his mother saw fit and that would be it. He would live a lie his whole life…but wouldn’t that have been his fate whether he had Adil or not?

“Toby.”

Toby looked up at his mother. “Mother?”

“I know.”

Toby let go of his fork, it clattered to his plate as his eyes widened.

“You know…know what?” he tried to catch himself, make it as if he really had no clue. But there was no denying Lady Hamilton’s words. She knew. _She knew_.

Lady Hamilton gazed at her son shrewdly. “Can we please talk about this? I promise-”

Could Toby go through with this? Could he possibly walk away from Adil, from the man he loved? There had to be some way to make it work. Because Lady Hamilton knew about him. He was sure that was what she meant. So they had this conversation. It wouldn’t make a bit of difference if Toby just went along with it. His mother knew, she’d tell him he had to forget it, to bury it, that he’d have to marry an aristocratic woman. It was the only way.

This was the end. Or perhaps the end had come long ago. Toby had a duty, he knew he did. He had wanted to spend his life with Adil, but that wasn’t an option any longer. This was his fate.

“Whatever you want,” Toby looked down, feeling completely defeated. “I’ll do whatever you want. Set me up with some woman. I’ll marry her, have children, I’ll-”

“We both know that would never make you happy, Toby.”

“But…I’m obligated.”

Toby sounded dead, even to himself. He thought about Adil again, the way his looked, the sly smile when he knew he had bested Toby, what making love was like, Adil’s body, the way he made Toby feel, loving him.

Lady Hamilton let out a soft sigh, reaching across the table to rest her hand on her son’s. “But I just want you to be happy, Toby.”

The man’s jaw dropped. “Mother…” he trailed off. How could Toby possibly tell his mother that he had lost the only man who could make him happy anyway, so what did it matter?

“You had found someone, hadn’t you? Oh, but you just seemed so… _different_ for a few months.”

It didn’t even seem possible that Lady Hamilton was that sharp. Toby had spent his whole life being the uninteresting one, to both his parents. Lady Hamilton had never even seemed to care about the things he _could_ talk about, like his work. The idea that she would notice a change of affect was completely absurd.

Suddenly, Toby felt tears welling in his eyes. “It’s too late,” he finally said thickly. “I’ve lost him.”

For the first time in God knew how long, Toby just wanted to be in his mother’s arms. He felt like a child again, crying over something so _trivial_.

Except this wasn’t trivial. This was Toby’s life. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Did… _he_ make you happy?”

Toby was still staring at his lap, tears dripping down his face. “He did.”

“So why is it too late?”

“Because I…we…it’s all my fault. I destroyed him, and there’s no fixing things.”

Glancing up quickly, Toby could see the cogs turning in his mother’s head. It was just another time he wished he knew what was going on in there. Besides, this entire night had been a shock to the system. Toby had passively figured it was only a matter of time until his mother figured him out, or caught him with Adil, or whatever it was. He had never imagined that she’d be so accepting, so… _okay_ with her son’s proclivities.

“Well if you…love… _love_? him…and he loves you…”

Why was Lady Hamilton making this so difficult? Toby and Adil were done. Toby had already accepted that fact. Well, as best he could, with a tiny shred of hope still there in the back of his mind. “Mother. I’m prepared to do my familial duties now. Please-”

“Toby,” his mother’s tone was sharp. “Please, I’m trying to do what I can to save you from a life of misery. You can’t imagine even I’m _that_ cruel.”

“What will you tell people?”

“Whatever I have to.”

“He’s staff,” Toby blurted out. He wasn’t sure if that would make a difference or not.

Lady Hamilton’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrowed. “Staff,” that seemed to be hitting her even more than the fact that Toby was a homosexual. “Toby-”

“If you’re going to make these blanket comments, you must know all the details,” Toby cut her off bitterly. “He’s staff, and I will never meet another man I love as much as him. But it’s too late, so I’m resigned to a life of loneliness.”

“You’re always so dramatic,” Lady Hamilton said waspishly. “If he’s staff, then he simply tell people he is your valet. It wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary for aristocracy.”

Toby finally looked up from his lap, furiously wiping away his tears. “Mother, I told you already…we’re not…well, I don’t know what we are, but we’re not…and we might never be… _okay_. I think it’s quite hopeless.”

“If you’ll never love another as much as you love him, then there must be some way to resolve it all.”

Toby shrugged, looking back down. His food had gone cold, but he had a mouthful of chicken anyway.

“Does Freddie know?”

Toby shook his head. “Nobody knows. Aside from you, I suppose. It’s not safe for anyone to know. The last time…” he trailed off.

His mother had experienced what she had with Mr. D’Abberville. Toby suspected she had some idea.

“Toby-”

“I couldn’t bear it if he ended up in prison because of me! Not after last time! Mother-” Toby cut himself off, tears still falling. “You _don’t_ understand. You _can’t_ understand.”

“I’m not going to force you into a life you don’t want to live. I’d lose you forever that way.”

Toby could barely believe what he was hearing. But it made him think…if his mother was able to do this, to push aside what society said about men like him to still love him, maybe Toby and Adil could work through things. With Lady Hamilton responding as she was, Toby was pretty sure it was the _strangest_ thing that had happened to him.

With a deep breath, Toby resolved to go to Adil tomorrow.

“I’m not sure what’s going on here,” Toby admitted. “I never thought…” God, what could he even say about this? It was so surreal. “How long have you known?” there were a million questions, and that one was the one that came out first.  
“I suppose I always knew,” Lady Hamilton said thoughtfully. “You were always so _awkward_ around girls. You never showed any interest in them the way you… _should_ have.”

Should have. Well, that was something, Toby supposed. “But…”

“Mr. D’Abberville…said some things,” Lady Hamilton looked down, as if she was ashamed of herself. “And it really made me start to wonder if…”

“Right.”

“And I suppose things just started to connect…”

“Right.”

Toby looked up, scrubbing furiously at his eyes. He half expected to wake up, for this all to have been a dream. But the look his mother was giving him, his earlier hurts from yet another fight with Adil…well, maybe he wasn’t sure what to think of it all, and a dream seemed most natural.

“You will try to make it up with him?” Lady Hamilton’s question cut through Toby’s thoughts.

Blinking owlishly, Toby finally nodded. “I will.”

“Oh, Toby. I’m so proud of you. I always have been, and I always will be.”

Toby didn’t remember how he had finally excused himself, walking to his room as if in a dream. It felt like just…all of sudden he was in bed, thoughts of his mother knowing about him and trying to make things right with Adil keeping him from sleep for far too long.

***

With a deep breath, Toby knocked on the door to Adil’s flat.

“One moment,” he heard Adil call out. Toby waited anxiously, playing with his signet ring. The door opened a moment later. “Toby?”

“Can I come in?”

Adil stared for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe Toby had the audacity to show up at his door and ask to come in. Finally, he stood aside, gesturing for Toby to come in. “I can’t say I was expecting you to come back.”

“I can’t say I was expecting to,” Toby admitted. “But…I wanted to talk to you.”

Toby seated himself on the very edge of Adil’s bed. Adil sat down, as far from Toby as he could. “Toby-”

“Let me talk,” Toby held up his hand. He hated the way the motion hushed Adil, and he instantly hated himself for doing so. “I had dinner with my mother last night.”

“I know. You told me before…before you left yesterday.”

It was all such a blur. Well, right up until Toby had stormed out of Adil’s apartment, slamming the door behind him. “She…she knows about me. About me being…”

Adil’s eyes widened. “You can’t be serious!”

“Believe me, no one is more surprised than I am.”

“So this is…actual goodbye, isn’t it?” Adil looked down. “I suppose you’ll be…married off. Sent away. Even if we wanted to…if we wanted to…it really _is_ over, isn’t it?”

Toby took Adil’s hands in his, holding on tighter as the smaller man tried to pull away. “No, Adil. It’s not _actual goodbye_. Because she’s not going to force me to get married, or send me away, or any of that. She wants me to be happy…what that means for _me_ , not for her.”

The men’s eyes locked. “I don’t see what that has to do with me,” Adil said, barely above a whisper.

Feeling tears burning at his eyes again, Toby blinked, trying to keep them from falling. But he couldn’t help himself. “Because I told her she could do all that. That I’d fulfill my familial obligations, whatever she wanted. Because I had lost the only man I could ever spend my life with. And she told me there had to be a way to fix things. But she doesn’t know, does she?”

“Toby-”

“Because I _have_ lost you. But then I thought…maybe I shouldn’t think that way. Maybe there _is_ a way.”

“I thought we’d already decided there isn’t,” Adil said flatly.

“I don’t want to be done trying. Adil…my mother knows I’m a homosexual and _she’s okay with it_. That’s got to mean something!” Toby squeezed Adil’s hands tighter. “I don’t want to say goodbye, Adil…I don’t want _us_ to be over!”

There were tears streaming down Adil’s face now too, and it broke Toby’s heart.

“Toby…”

“Say you’ll try again with me, Adil. Please say you’ll try with me again.”

“This is absurd, Toby! _I_ know it, _you_ know it-”

“Adil…” Toby was crying, his whole body shaking. “I can’t be with anyone else. And the thought of _you_ with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. We’re supposed to be together, Adil. My mother…”

Adil looked down to where Toby’s hands were holding his tightly. It couldn’t possibly work. He looked up at Toby, and his heart broke at the tears streaming down Toby’s face. What was worse was the feeling of the tears streaming down his own face. It _shouldn’t_ work…but that wasn’t the same as _couldn’t_ work.

Besides, Toby had vocalized things that Adil had been holding back for some time. That he couldn’t be with anyone else. That the thought of Toby with someone else made Adil sick to his stomach as well.

What Toby was saying about his mother didn’t make any sense. Of course, Adil didn’t know Lady Hamilton beyond serving her drinks, but he had heard Toby complain about her plenty of times. _She’s trying to set me up with another woman_ , he would say, pacing his room in frustration. Or _she wants me to do things with my life that I don’t want to do_ , he’d be twisting his signet ring. It had always been like that. Adil didn’t mind being a sounding board…God knew Toby needed it. But her knowing? It didn’t make any sense.

And after everything that had happened with Mr. D’Abberville, Adil couldn’t help but be slightly wary, even though Toby claimed she was okay with it all. Mr. D’Abberville had pretended to be so as well.

“I don’t trust her,” Adil finally said dully. “Not after…”

“Trust me, Adil. She means it.”

Adil wanted to believe Toby. He so _desperately_ wanted to believe Toby. How could he _really_ know that Lady Hamilton wasn’t going to send the man he loved away?

Wouldn’t it be easier to detach _now_ if that was the case?

With a soft sigh, Adil pressed a light kiss to Toby’s lips. “Just…give me another day or two, okay? We can talk again, I just…”

“I know. It’s a lot to process.”

_God_ …Adil was still so sure Toby would be gone tomorrow. “Tomorrow. Or the next day. I’ll come up after my shift.”

Toby nodded, recognizing the boundaries Adil was setting. But he had given him a kiss, which had to be a start. As he stood and left the small flat, Toby looked back, the toothy smile that drove Adil crazy on his face.

He had no clue that Adil was burning that smile into his memory, so sure it would be completely gone from his life forever by the next night.

***

“You’re really not going to marry me off to some…woman?”

“Toby-”

“Because…because some things have happened. Have changed. And…”

Toby sat with his mother at dinner again, once again in the privacy of her suite. After everything that had happened with Adil earlier, Toby was finding it hard to believe everything she had said the night before. There had to be a catch. There was no way Lady Hamilton would be okay with her son being a homosexual. Sure, there were times where Toby was pretty sure she didn’t care for him much anyway, but this?

“Sounds like you’ve taken my advice,” she said loftily.

Toby looked down at his plate. “I don’t…I still don’t believe that you…”

“Toby,” Lady Hamilton said with a maternal tone Toby rarely heard from her. “Even if you didn’t believe me, what would you do if I _were_ to force you into a marriage? Run around having affairs with men? Take on a lover, leave some poor woman to a lonely life? The scandal it could cause! Why would I wish that on anyone? You, or some woman I could find for you.”

Unable to keep a petulant frown off his face, Toby looked up through the fringe of his hair. He couldn’t believe this was happening. There was no way he and Adil could have a happy ending. People like them didn’t get happy endings.

There was still something so odd about it all. Maybe after everything that had happened with Mr. D’Abberville, Toby just couldn’t believe he could get off that easily. Him _and_ Adil. Toby’s eyes narrowed at the thought. Maybe his mother had some sort of ulterior motive regarding Adil. Oh God…Toby had already told her his lover was staff. Was that giving her too much information?

“I’m not telling you who he is,” Toby blurted out. Lady Hamilton raised an elegant eyebrow. “You can’t go after him if you don’t know who he is.”

The woman frowned slightly. “Toby, I wouldn’t-”

“You can’t say that,” Toby insisted. “Something…something could go wrong, or you could change your mind, or you could even be lying to me right now. I almost lost him once, it’s not going to happen again.”

Lady Hamilton looked slightly hurt for the briefest moment, which Toby caught and threw him off a bit. “I suppose that’s understandable,” she finally said, a bit stiffly.

The thing was, Toby couldn’t even feel that bad about making that comment. He believed it was entirely his right to be on guard. After everything that had happened before. Lady Hamilton didn’t know anything about that, but Toby just couldn’t risk it. She seemed frighteningly genuine. Mr. D’Abberville had at first, too. Toby couldn’t bear something terrible happening to Adil _again_.

Of course, there was the small concern that Lady Hamilton would figure it out on her own. Sure, she had’t noticed before, but now she knew. If Adil did decide he and Toby could try again, he’d have to warn his lover about staying _extremely_ discreet around Lady Hamilton.

“He works at the hotel?”

Toby nodded. He could see the cogs turning in his mother’s head, trying to figure out who it could possibly be. The woman was sharp as a tack…Toby knew there was a good chance she’d figure it out anyway.

Here was to hoping.

“I…” Toby stood abruptly, pushing his plate away. Suddenly he wasn’t very hungry. “I just need to go back to my room. I will see you for breakfast, mother.”

Lady Hamilton reached out, but reconsidered, lowering her hand. “Very well, Toby. Goodnight.”

Toby rushed from her room to his own, shutting the door probably a little more forcefully than he should have, resting his forehead against the cool wood. For the first time in awhile, he was starting to think things were actually going _right_.

***

The next day dragged by. Breakfast with his mother was like pulling teeth. They couldn’t talk about any of the sensitive topics in the atrium, so both of them sat painfully straight backed, trying to talk about anything but.

Toby had been hoping Adil would come see him the night after dinner with his mother, but Adil hadn’t. Toby had stayed up until one in the morning, still hoping with all his might, but he hadn’t come. He tried to remind himself it was okay. After all, Adil had said he would come within the next couple days. He would come. He wouldn’t say that and then not come. Toby knew that for sure.

Work was exhausting. Things had been better since Toby’s name had been cleared, and he loved working in the war office, but right now, it was rather difficult to keep his mind off of Adil.

Maybe tonight.

Toby took dinner in his own room that night, not wanting to deal with his mother. It wasn’t her fault, of course, but he didn’t think he was even capable of carrying on any type of conversation. He had given her some half-hearted excuse and left it at that.

Toby was sitting at his desk, a book open in front of him, his head resting on his hand. He had been trying desperately to read, but with no luck. His eyes were fluttering shut…between avoiding his mother and work and trying to reconcile with Adil, Toby realized he hadn’t been sleeping the best. It was only now catching up to him though, and he was _exhausted_.

There was a familiar knock on the door and Toby jumped up, suddenly awake. He yanked open the door to find Adil standing in the hall, a tray with coffee in his hands.

“Adil,” Toby breathed, shifting so the other man could come in.

Adil remained composed until the door was shut and locked. He set the tray down, smiling nervously at Toby. “You’re still here,” he said quietly.

“Where else would I be?”

“I half expected you’d have been sent away. That your mother…”

“Yes. Me too. But I’m here.”

The two looked at each other, standing a good distance apart, though Toby thought he could have touched Adil if he just reached out. He wanted to reach out…he wanted to reach out so badly. But Toby knew he couldn’t. Not now. Adil had said he would come see Toby and they would talk. That could mean Adil had decided it _was_ over for good.

“You talked to her, though? About…”

“About as much as I felt comfortable sharing. She knows it’s someone on staff, but I didn’t tell her it was you. Just in case.”

Adil stared at Toby, eyes wide. “I…I suppose that’s the safest way to play it.”

They stared at each other, keeping a steady gaze. They both had tears in their eyes. “Why don’t we sit?” Toby finally said, motioning to the chairs in the corner.

Adil nodded, sitting on the very edge of the chair, his back ramrod straight. Toby took a similar position in the other chair. They were silent for a moment, then another moment.

“I didn’t think we could do it,” Adil finally said softly. “All signs pointed to that,” he looked down. “I’m still not sure we can.”

It wasn’t that Toby wasn’t expecting that, but it still pained him. He was an aristocrat with an overblown sense of privilege. He had thought that Adil would be willing to give it another try. Because they loved each other.

Wasn’t that enough?

“We _can_ ,” Toby said, blinking in an attempt to keep his tears from falling, but he failed spectacularly. The tears dripped down his face, and Toby didn’t even bother to wipe them away. He knew it wouldn’t make a bit difference.

And then Adil stood, squatting in front of Toby and wiping his tears away. “Don’t cry, Toby,” he said, tears welling up in his own eyes, but not falling. Adil had always been too controlled for that. “Don’t cry. I didn’t come here to tell you we can’t. I love you, Toby. And if you think we can do it, then I know we can.”

It was the first time one of them had said “I love you” since the night Toby saved Adil. It sparked a hope in Toby’s chest, a flame that couldn’t be put out. “I love you too, Adil. God, I love you so much,” he was sobbing silently now, his whole body shaking. “Please give me a second chance…I won’t let you down.”

Adil wiped away some more tears before putting his arms around Toby, pulling him close. Toby buried his face into Adil’s shoulder, still sobbing silently. Adil just held him tight, pressing light kisses to wherever he could reach. “I can’t say goodbye,” Adil said softly into Toby’s ear. “Not to you. Not like this.”

Toby clung to the other man, feeling more at home than he had felt for months. All the fighting, thinking they couldn’t make it work… _they were getting a second chance_!

Adil was running his fingers through Toby’s hair, whispering reassuring words in his ear. After a few moments of this, Toby pulled back, sobs under control but still crying a bit. “I know we’ve been through a lot,” Toby whispered, his voice slightly hoarse from crying. “But all that fighting…being in some sort of limbo…we can get over that, right? Things can go back to how they should be.”

Adil couldn’t help himself from glancing at the door, half expecting Lady Hamilton or the policed to come bursting through. “How are we going to hide it all from your mother? She didn’t know before, but now she knows you’re with someone on staff. She’ll…see us in the bar.”

With a frown and a deep breath, Toby twisted his signet ring around his finger. “I don’t know. We’ll just have to be…a lot more discreet.”

Both shared a wry smile. “At least when she’s around,” Adil said dully.

Toby frowned slightly. “I want us to move in together-”

“Toby! You know we can’t!”

“We’ll find a way to make it work. I’m tired of living a life of sneaking around. I want to go to sleep curled up with you ever night…wake up to you in the morning. _Please_.”

“You don’t want your mother to know who your lover is, but that would make it pretty damn clear.”

Toby stood, pacing the side of the room thoughtfully. “Maybe…maybe it could work. Maybe let me assess the situation a bit more. If she’s serious about not minding…”

Adil curled back into his chair, watching Toby pace. “Don’t worry about it right now,” Adil finally said softly. “I just want to concentrate on _us_.”

A hopeful smile broke out on Toby’s face. “So you’re really serious about giving us a second chance?”

That smile made Adil’s stomach do flip flops. “I am,” he said, offering a smile of his own. “You’re right. We’ve had our fights. Now it’s time for our happy ending.

Toby grinned widely, the toothy grin that made Adil’s heart pound and fall in love with Toby all over again. Toby straddled Adil on his chair, leaning in to kiss him. He cradled his face in his hands, as if afraid Adil was going to disappear from under him. But Adil didn’t, he wrapped his arms around Toby’s shoulders and kissed him back. It wasn’t an over the top kiss. They just held on tight, Adil’s tongue running along the seam of Toby’s lips and Toby parting his lips.

It was one of the most heartfelt, passionate kisses they had ever shared.

When they finally pulled away, both men were breathing deeply, flushed bright red. “I’m home,” Toby whispered.

“As am I,” Adil agreed, pressing a quick kiss to Toby’s lips.

“Stay here,” Toby said softly. “I know you’ll have to get up early, but…you can borrow of pair of pyjamas and we can just…cuddle.”

Adil’s eyes were bright. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

They took turns changing in the bathroom. Toby chuckled softly as Adil came out, absolutely dwarfed in Toby’s pyjamas. “You’re so cute,” he gave a wide grin.

“Even if your things don’t fit _me_ , you need to find things that fit _you_.”

Toby shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“I see how your mother looks at your suits.”

Toby’s head fell back with laughter. “I don’t give a damn.”

Adil crawled into bed with Toby, the two men curled up in each other’s arms. Even with the lights out, they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Why did you fight so hard for us to fix things?” Adil asked curiously. “It would have been so easy to just…”

“Because I love you, Adil,” Toby said softly, running his fingers lightly over Adil’s lips. “And I don’t want a life without you,” he let out a soft sigh. “We really should get a flat…and if mother finds out who you are…if she tries to do anything about it, we’re just going to leave, okay? We’ll go somewhere far away and start a new life, just you and me.”

“That’s a lofty thing to say, Toby,” Adil frowned. “What if we disappear and we realize we can’t do it after all?”

“That’s not going to happen. We’ve gotten through the worst of it. The trouble, the fights…”

Adil looked at Toby thoughtfully. “We’re still going to fight sometimes.”

“I think most couples do.”

“But we’ll always make up. If we can get through this…”

Toby nodded. “We can get through anything,” he finished the thought.

“And my mum always said to never go to bed angry. Let’s do that, too.”

“It sounds very wise. I think we should definitely adopt that.”

Adil yawned, curling up closer to Toby. “I love you, Toby. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Adil. You’re my forever, and I couldn’t be more grateful for us getting a second chance.”

***

Toby found himself back with his mother for dinner the next night. He had been hoping to mostly hang out in the bar, being very discreet with the man he loved who had given him a second chance. But Lady Hamilton had stepped in, insisting Toby have dinner with her in her suite again. And rather than fight it, the man just acquiesced, preparing himself for another awkward meal.

“You seem much happier today,” Lady Hamilton started right in. “Happier than I’ve seen you for _months_.”

“Yes, well,” Toby took a bite of beef. “I’ve sorted things out with my…” how did Toby refer to Adil? His partner? His lover? “With my person. We’re going to try again.”

“Oh, Toby,” Lady Hamilton gave the patronizing grin that Toby was so used to. “I _told_ you it could all work out. Oh, it’s so good to see you happy. Not…moping around like you have been.”

It was a bit of an awkward thing. Toby wasn’t entirely sure how to address everything he wanted to. “Honestly, mother, I still can’t believe that you’re okay with this. You can’t blame me for waiting for everything to go completely sideways.”

Lady Hamilton’s face fell for just a moment, before a thoughtful look crossed her features. “I spent so many years in a loveless marriage,” she said after a moment. “I would never wish that on you or Freddie. I can’t say I’m thrilled with either of your paths, but if that’s what make you happy, keeps you out of what I went through…so be it.”

“We’re going to get a flat together,” Toby blurted out.

His mother raised an elegant eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want me to know who he is.”

Toby swallowed over the lump in his throat. “I want to show you I can trust you,” he finally said, staring at his meal. And here he had thought he was hungry again…now he just wasn’t too sure. Did he really trust his mother? Especially with information like this…it was dangerous, but at the same time… _she was still Toby’s mother_. It took a moment, but Toby found the words. “To show you that I know you mean harm. The second I sense any sort of change, he and I are leaving and we’re never coming back.”

This certainly seemed to hit Lady Hamilton hard. “You’d give up everything for him?” she asked in disbelief.

“In a heart beat,” Toby confirmed, taking another bite of food.

Lady Hamilton looked more unsure than ever before. “Well, then, it’s a good thing it won’t come to that,” she finally said, her tone holding a note of challenge.

Toby stared at her for a moment. “Adil Joshi,” he said simply. “The head barman.”

Lady Hamilton studied her son for a long moment. Toby was holding his breath, just waiting. He supposed it was one thing in the abstract, another in the actuality.

“I’m not sure I’m entirely surprised,” Lady Hamilton admitted. “You do spend an _awful_ amount of time at the bar.”

Toby was unable to hold back a bark of laughter. “We were discreet,” he insisted.

“Well of course you were, darling,” Lady Hamilton waved her hand. “But hindsight is 20/20, is it not?”

The words brought some bubble of hope up. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

“Perhaps he can join us for dinner one night.”

Toby’s jaw dropped. Of all the things his mother could say about this, this was one thing he would never have expected. Having her son’s staff, homosexual lover to dinner? Toby was gobsmacked. He blinked, opening and closing his mouth, a million thoughts running through his head and no idea what to actually say.

“Perhaps,” was finally the best he could manage.

Lady Hamilton moved on from there, talking about something she had read in that evening’s paper, some article about…something or other that Toby just wasn’t even paying attention to. Tonight had been all over the damn place, and Toby just couldn’t even figure out what the hell his life had become.

But he was starting to feel like he really loved it.

***

Adil came up to Toby’s room after his shift again, this time balancing a bottle of wine and two glasses on his tray. Toby greeted his lover with a wide smile.

“We’re safe,” he said, pulling the other man into his arms as soon as he had sat the tray down. “We’re safe, it’s going to be fine.”

Adil still wasn’t sure, but he didn’t voice this. He trusted Toby, and if that’s what this meant, he trusted that too. “It’s almost too good to be true.”

Toby buried his face in Adil’s hair, breathing in deep. He loved his lover’s smell, spices and alcohol and whatever he used to tame it. “I told her we’d leave if she tried to ruin things for us.”

Adil buried his face in Toby’s neck, unable to hold back a smile. “You’re a lunatic, Toby Hamilton.”

“You bring it out in me,” Toby teased.

“Did you tell her you want us to get a flat?”

“Mmhmm.”

“So she knows it’s me?”

“Mmhmm.”

Adil took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself by breathing in Toby’s scent. Sandalwood and whatever cologne he wore. It was the most comforting thing in the world. Suddenly, Adil didn’t feel as bad as he had been.

“You really think…”

“I do. And I’m not joking about leaving if anything looks bad. Home is wherever you are, Adil. That’s all I need.”

It was enough to get a smile out of Adil, and he shifted onto his toes to press a light kiss to Toby’s lips. “Thank you,” he said softly. Toby raised a questioning eyebrow. “For everything.”

“Thank _you_ , Adil. _God_ …if you hadn’t kissed me in the wine cellar…what my life would be! I don’t think I’d like it very much. Thank you,” he kissed Adil. “Thank you.”

“I can think of some better ways for you to thank me,” Adil teased.

“Mmm…I’m sure you can.”

They kissed deeply, falling into bed until they were completely lost in each other.

***

It had been a week since Lady Hamilton had revealed to Toby that she knew about his sexuality. The whole situation still blew Toby’s mind. They hadn’t dined together for a few days, as Toby had insisted he had far too much work to get done and just wanted to have dinner in his room. It was a bit of a lie…he really just wanted the dust to settle with his mother, make sure she was still not going to do anything with the information she now held.

But she hadn’t, and Toby was thinking she wasn’t going to do anything untoward.

So a week after she revealed she knew, Toby sat with his mother to dinner. The conversation started off easy enough. They talked about the paper, and Freddie’s recent visit. Toby could see that his mother had plenty to say about Freddie and Emma starting to date again, but she spoke in riddles about the whole thing. Toby couldn’t help but think about her attitude…both her children had taken up with staff, and one was a homosexual. Of course, she had said that she wasn’t thrilled with either of her children’s paths, but whatever made them happy.

“I still can’t believe this week,” Toby said, inhibitions down significantly and more hungry than he’d been in some time. “Just with…you know. You. And everything.”

“I’d be a poor excuse for a mother if I didn’t recognize these things,” Lady Hamilton said sharply as she buttered a roll. “You’re my son,” she sighed softly. “Though you are an adult now. You don’t need your mother like you once did.”

Not that Lady Hamilton had been a great mother, but Toby knew, in the end, she loved him and Freddie very much. The fact that she was accepting both of her sons’ paths was a big deal.

“I found a flat for us,” Toby said. It had only been that morning, but he had excitedly dragged Adil to see it on his break. It was only a five minute walk from the Halcyon, so Adil would have no trouble getting to work on time and not winded, and it was an easy tube ride to the war office. And of course, Toby could keep trying to build his relationship with his mother. “We’ll be moving next week.”

Lady Hamilton frowned slightly. “You’re sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

Lady Hamilton looked slightly put out. “Well, then. I can’t stop you.”

“I’ll visit plenty,” Toby promised. “To see you. And Adil will still be working at the bar.”

“God knows you’re a fixture there anyway.”

Toby bit his lip to hold back a chuckle. At least his mother meant well. “Thank you, mother,” he finally said, looking down at his plate. “I never thought…I mean…this sort of secret…you-”

“You may be an adult, but you are still my child,” she said loftily. “After what we’ve all been through…” she trailed off. “Well, you certainly deserve a happy ending. No matter how you find it.”

The conversation veered off after that, but as Adil lay curled against Toby in bed that night, Toby couldn’t stop thinking of his mother’s words. He couldn’t imagine a better happy ending. And how strange that it had come out of his mother revealing she knew his deepest secret. Breathing in Adil’s scent, Toby realized that the _how_ was a rather big piece of the puzzle at all.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for kudos and comments! I love you guys! Happy Adoby anniversary week!


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